My life seemed accidental
A son my birth parents rejected
Caesared at 32 weeks-unwelcome
Death stalks, My lungs infected
A trip to Juarez was her plan
Down there Roe vs. Wade didn't matter
My cousin the nurse offered to help
Place me with a mother-- a safe ladder
Welcomed to a couple nearing forty
Health being monitored by Dr. Yorty
The couple who stepped forward
Had the paperwork done to take me
The woman who bore me never
Looked back on this matter
By age three I was told the truth
I was special they said- a chosen youth
The neighborhood kids when we played
Told me they couldn't see it that way
The couple that raised me tried to help
Me see the situation that day
The younger years were very busy
Digging ditches, bailing hay-very dizzy
My cousin was a second mother
Her oldest son was a distant brother
Time passed quickly, questions grew
The couple, my parents, they worried
My anger at my chromosomal pair
Grew larger and darker-they didn't care
They were absent always, a black hole
Growing slowly into my naive despair
Things got better when I changed schools
Busily content--I followed the rules
There was a gaping hole not filled
I overachieved to stymie my will
At eighteen my family saw me as a man
They gave me all the adoption papers
A few questions were answered
The papers frustrated, only a glance
Searching for them didn't pan out
Despite my efforts, the hole remained
My family through adoption I adored
Worse to know a little, my soul gored
In towns where I traveled
I looked to see if they were listed
Once in awhile my mind unraveled
My heritage and history were twisted
As I talked with adopted peers
It seemed that their souls were in pain
The states said their history was sealed
Their years searching, like mine, in vain
Sometimes, late at night, I really wish
I could stop trying to speak to them
My mind knows they aren't there
My hope is somewhere that they care
Some questions over time grow heavy
A burden open adoptions don't share
I wrestle time's river standing there
Afraid life will end, perched on a levee
If someone you know has this issue
Whose tears shine and glisten
Please do not hand them a tissue
Just sit with them quietly and listen
Copyright 2017 by Peter Reum
All Rights Reserved
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